We All Stall! Break Through the Barrier!

Ok so a quick update. I have stalled. LOL kind of like my entire life the last few months. Last summer I had an encounter with a shaman and I know it affected me in all areas of my life. I don’t know why I let it. I keep going back to that one defining moment when I spoke with her about the future and this was just a conversation. She told me that the next year was going to be really hard and then proceeded to tell me the reasons why. I have let that little thought affect my life probably more than I want to admit. I know I tried not too, but did not know how to get out of this funk. I guess I was a work in progress and I needed to go through what I did to make me stronger. AND it is what we do when we hit these plateaus or barriers to break through them. I don’t give up very easily, and that sometimes can be a flaw. Sometimes you have to know when to get up and walk away (just an fyi this isnt one of them just saying).

However, you know when the message is needed it appears? As it did. I have been digesting the book E Squared by Pam Grout. I am a voracious reader. So I am going to completely change my approach. I am approaching my weight loss in a different light and my struggle to find my answer of what do I want to be when I grow up.

So far to date I am guessing I am down about 45 lbs. I am 86’ing the scale, an instrument of torture and mind games for me. My clothes haven’t gotten any bigger and guess what I did. I went back to self sabotage. Big surprise right? We had a “snack” day this past weekend and I felt like shit. Immediately my body started rejecting the sugar and the toxins. I will never do that again. I had to lay down and 8pm and didn’t get up until 6:30 the next morning. It was a food coma. Really none of it was that great. It was the prospect of cheating on what I had done to accomplish my goals. The thought of that was exciting for a moment. What is even better is that my husband also has been on a great kick with me (FINALLY!!!). He has been walking every day, cut out late night eating and no junk during the week, he too felt awful and had a headache for 2 days. What does this say or prove? Food can totally change how we feel physically and mentally.

Back to Pam’s book and also Jeff Olson talks about this in the Slight Edge and it is expectation of doing something and getting the results that you truly want. When we focus our energy on what we truly want, i.e. weight loss, better health, more money that is exactly what we get. When we focus on doing daily tasks on getting ourselves there over a period of time you start to see things accumulate. Small measured results. But the fact is you have to do these tasks everyday. Not just sometimes, or part time but all of the time. Here is the big aha, it is so easy not to do it, or just say I will not do it for today. Most of the time we fall into the category of not doing it, because it is easy not to do and then we think the same the next day and the next so on and so forth. 


We also focus on what we do not want. For instance, I was so focused on not going back into a field that I love that I shut all doors and possibilities out. It wasn’t until I had that aha moment that I said to myself, why am I fighting the inevitable and why would I close a door on something I love? Because of a few failures? Because I was worried about what other people think? For a while yes, then it dawned on me, I do not care what anyone thinks. If they have a problem with it, it is their problem not mine.

It is like weight loss. I was fighting the battle of the bulge everyday. Worried about every morsel I put into my mouth to the point of dizziness and such low blood sugar I almost passed out…why? Good clean food is fuel! If you look at it from a point and say I am grateful for this food and it will nourish and benefit my body vs. I have to watch every calorie I eat or I will gain weight, bingo! Your body will do exactly what you are telling it. Try it. There are exercises in Pam’s book that will help you hone in on this…



I never realized how powerful your thoughts really were until the past few months but you can really will your way into anything and everything you have ever desired. I want to create my own destiny. I want happiness and success in everything and anything. All the way down to a loving fantastic relationship. What about you? If you keep telling yourself you are not worthy, guess what you aren’t. Maybe that is why I have had so many relationships fail (or really picked the wrong guy) until this guy (yep on the Liz Taylor path and yellow brick road of marriages).  But WHY in the world would we do this to ourselves? We are worthy of happiness, feeling beautiful, desirable and prosperous. We have been told so many negative things. You, we, I are meant to claim what we deserve and what we can be and what we desire. It won’t happen tomorrow, it probably won’t happen next week, but if you make that conscious effort every day measure your results every 90 days. It takes time for everything! Write it down, it makes it real!

By the way, I incorporated Pam’s exercises and the pair of pants I have that were 2 sizes too small I can fit into. Stay willful my friends!


Gut be GONE!! 20 lbs to go! %$#@ Sugar!

Does anyone address the whole body and mind when facing a health challenge? It seems like the answer in weight loss is always cutting the calories and exercising but in reality how much of it has to do with behavior and the mind? I still have more weight to cut and it all seems to be hanging out between my mid section to my upper thighs and my head is beating me up. My daughter took some pictures of me yesterday and I realized I still have quite a bit to go. I am not satisfied nor happy with the pictures look but hell I have come a long way baby!

It is the gut. The powerhouse of our existence next to the brain. As I sit here contemplating over what my last article said, I realized that I did not elaborate enough on a healthy mind, and part of that was overcoming addictions. I did not really even realize at the time that I might possibly have a food issue as well (as I sit here and think about the peanut butter cups I ate yesterday and then feel shitty about it).  Then I wonder is it an excuse and I also wonder if it is playing into not being able to let the last part of this weight go. Both my husband and I have resolved to eat better and do positive things for our health. Actually I did not really give my husband a choice and really am going to kick his ass. I think it is fair that I have had to deal with mine, now he has to deal with his, right? All or nothing?

Now my 14 year old daughter is on board (and will be keeping an eye on her dad too).  We are committed to an even healthier lifestyle. Even though I have come a long way, I still have a long way to go. I am guessing I still need to cut about 20 lbs, but I do not have a scale and do not intended on getting one (screw that, it messes with my head). I measure in inches and how my clothes fit. A 140 pound person carrying 30% body fat is going to look a lot different than a 140 pound person carrying 15% body fat. My husband definitely has a food addiction and rates up there with my alcohol. So, we have all resolved to hold each other accountable. Accountability partners!! Here are some pics from one year ago to today…

Wow one year ago July 2013

Wow one year ago July 2013 but didnt start getting healthy until November of this past year

July 2013 at my heaviest

July 2013 at my heaviest

July 2014-40 lbs lighter and put to rest

July 2014-40 lbs lighter and put to rest no make up and in a bathing suit…still have a long way to go!!

Need my mid section to look like my bi's, tri's, lats and pects!

July 2014…Need my mid section to look like my bi’s, tri’s, lats and pects!

I am looking at these pictures and to me it doesn’t “look” like much of a difference. However, none of my clothes fit and I have so many people that stop and compliment me, which I am truly grateful for. One day I will be able to see all of the results and hard work.

Sugar….There is no really good thing to say about it at all, except it really does taste good in a lot of things and wrecks havoc on your body. From drinks, to desserts, to candy, we have had a love affair with sugar since we all can remember (well at least I have). Do you have a favorite food you go to when you are depressed, stressed or you consider a cheat food? I think you may have gathered mine are Trader Joe’s PB cups. And my favorite 3 food groups would be pizza (boobs), chips (stomach) and chocolate (ass-these are where these calories would and have congregated). Look at the labels, high fructose corn syrup (which is horrible for you!), and sugar are usually in the first 3 ingredients. You should not consume more than 6 teaspoons of sugar a day or you put yourself at risk for Type 2 diabetes. This is why we have such an obesity problem in our country and the fact we do not get out and get into activity as nearly as much as we should.

One can of soda with sugar is 8 teaspoons of sugar. I suggest you say goodbye to soda and juice starting now. Even the diet sodas, gatorades, vitamin drinks, energy drinks are extremely bad for your body and carbonated drinks leach calcium out of the bones. Alcohol is fermented sugar and juice is liquid crack. Also, there are chemicals in all sorts of food to make us crave more. That is why there is such a withdrawal from certain foods and drinks. It seems to be simple and it is. Good old fashion clean water is the best. We do control it at the end of the day but we also try and complicate it. If we know what we are dealing with in food, logically it should make it much easier, but it does not for most (me me me!!). Many times eating and drinking is years of “crutched” behavior. Just like you need a crutch to help you walk if you have an injured leg or foot this is what food and drinks are for us to get through the day. More children and adults get cavities from juice. I know that juice for my children is completely omitted especially in my 6 year old; she is like the exorcist (yes Linda Blair all over again). It is an instant change with their behavior and activity level from any ingestion of a processed sugar. It is like the roller coaster from hell. And the food hangover that they have the next day.



These behaviors have been done over a number of years and most can not unlearn them overnight. It is a process and it takes planning, effort and time. Just like planning your day or week. We allow these external forces control us, period. They are things. During any journey you have to celebrate the small victories and what is going right. Too often we get wrapped up in what we are missing or what is going wrong instead of what is going right. Also, I will bet more things are going right then wrong, because that is the way it always is. The psychology of us missing something is a perception that we can not have something because that is how we have been conditioned. By this time it is completely out of control and we are in an excessive behavior pattern. And ask so what-so what if I miss having drinks with my friends, or that piece of cake after dinner?  What happens? Answer=not a damn thing. What is more important?  Being around for a long time to be a problem to your kids, a long luxurious life full of great memories or a shorter life riddled with health problems?

There are other sugars on the market that have a slower glucose release, such as coconut, maple sugars and some organic cane sugars, but at the end of the day a sugar is a sugar, a carbohydrate that your body does not treat the same as if it were to get it from sprouted grains, fruits, veggies, or legumes (beans) because of the digestive enzymes that it takes to process the food. Processed sugar bypasses that. Here it is folks. I am choosing NOT to live in this space any more. Not controlled by food, alcohol, negative thoughts or anything else that is mentally or physically unhealthy. You can do the same. It all starts with a decision. A stick- to- it -decision, and it won’t come without sweat equity. Don’t commit to something and then 3 days later say “I can’t do this, it is too hard.” That is bullshit and the easy way out. Just like you plan your day the night before or week before, it will require some thought and planning. You can control what you put in your mouth and in your head.  Isn’t your health, heart and head worth it? Because it is!

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