Love Conquers All

download (6)   Part of this blog was healing for myself and making myself better. Maybe it is the writing it is cathartic for me along my path to self healing and love. Telling my most inner darkest thoughts is completely mortifying but the truth sets you free. I have found that I have been more committed to my goals and what I have been doing since I decided to publicize my journey and I think I am pretty good at hiding shit. It really has to do with integrity and making sure I am living up to what I am writing. I can’t be a hypocrite because that is bullshit and people see right through it. I would know it, my children would know it, Jay would know it.

We all have our vices whether it is food, cleanliness, negativity, alcohol, drugs or sex, anything that you put higher than your own self worth is a problem. There is a major amount of my journey, weight loss and doing what I love that is wrapped up in all of this. My last post I spoke of the mind-body connection. Adding one more part of that is personal image. This past year of struggles both professionally and personally and being stalled brought me to where I am right here right now. When I get ideas or feel compelled to write, I act on it right away because I believe that these urges you are supposed to act on. And I can tell you what I think of myself is a struggle every freakin day.

I went from serious self-loathing to being able to accept myself but I had almost lost everything. I was at such a low point, even more than how my previous marriage made me feel because I only had me to blame for the predicament I was in. Completely a sum of small decisions made on a regular basis.  I have been working on loving myself and that will be my end goal. What about you? Part of loving myself was getting rid of the excess weight. I couldn’t stand looking at myself in the mirror. I was always trying to cover it up and at night I was loathing (yes loathe word of the day and think of Jim Carrey in the Grinch) myself. Maybe that is another reason I started drinking more, to numb my senses. Cover it up and fall off the wagon, no get run over by it with wheel marks. The key here is the word “accept” and by saying that I have come a long way. It was also about the negative chatter I had going on in my head.

Even though I had read every book, invested thousands of dollars in myself, had seen so many professional speakers but still I had no idea what was lacking. It wasn’t until I had almost pissed everything away that the answer revealed itself; self sabotage and not loving myself. I never loved myself and everyday is a work in progress. I thought if I lost all the weight I gained would be the answer  but it wasn’t; however it has helped my self esteem immensely and it is part of the puzzle. I also look in the mirror every morning and say I love you to myself and smile. Smile when you say it or self talk to yourself or in the mirror. When I first started doing this I couldn’t look at my reflection and I would cry every time I said it. I am proud of what I have accomplished and I keep setting new goals, so I know I am on the right path. I do know for sure I want to be the best version of me for my family and my friends it is myself that I have the trouble area with. Are any of you with me on this?

 

 

 10168138_793450090667126_6063191664183034454_n

I hadn’t really slept for the last 3 years either. When I decided in November of this past year that things had to change I really had to assess. What do I love? I love my children and spouse unconditionally. I love to work with and coach people and I love writing about health and wellness but where is this all heading-helping people. Did all of my past failures lead me to here but what is the answer-helping people. Do you ever sit and wonder what you should really be doing or feel like there’s something missing? It is like you are searching for an answer and you keep beating your head against the wall.

I now sleep better than I ever remember once I made a decision. I finally know what is next for me professionally and that gives me a sense of value. This is the first time in my entire life that I feel myself becoming whole. I am such a giver I find joy in giving but I was never able to receive until recently. That was another big a-ha moment. I shrugged off compliments, pats on the back, and when someone said I love you. I wasn’t worthy. Now instead of saying “no problem”, I say “its my pleasure”. When someone says I love you, I say it back and I mean it. I hug more. Hugging releases endorphins, reduces stress and make you happier.

I have been trying to come from a place of love every single day. It actually is fairly easy and when you do that your eyes really start to open. As my hubs says love is everything, it conquers all. He was of course invariably right yet again (and believe me sometimes I want to smack him for pretty much being right ALL of the time). No matter what happens in your life, it is all about how you handle it. How are YOU going to react? You have complete control over that.

Are you going to let your past dictate your future? So many people were screwed up when they were children. Many people exceeded, took control of their present and their future and became great influencers. The one thing that people like Oprah, Edison, Einstein or Ford said that they had ONE person that believed in them (and these people were severely abused or challenged). And so I challenge you, so what? You can choose to live in that dark space or you can move forward into the light. I know it saying it sounds much easier right? But it really isn’t. It is about a decision and start with small baby steps or some where in the middle or you are ALL in. I believe in you, and I know you can do whatever you set your mind too. Love you and who you are!

Loving yourself

Loving yourself

 

Image

The Mind Body Connection

I don’t want to get into me jumping on a soapbox and waving a finger at people with every article, but I would like to lay the foundation of what to expect from these writings and how you can best utilize them for you. These ideas, research, articles and more, are truly some of the best things I have come across over many years. If you take just one idea that appeals to you, you will be that much better off.

I will preface this by saying the BIG C article included several mentions of meditation. You can control what you put into your body and your mind.  You can’t have one without the other. I am going to tell you right now if you think you will get a major ailment you will. I have seen it happen time and time again. I have even done it to myself.  You must change your thinking. Your mind will make you sick if you keep having those thoughts. What we think we become…

Not only will meditation help in healing; positivity, happiness and laughter it is its own best medicine. If you get diagnosed with a dis-ease (and why do I always hyphen it all dis-ease because the body is not at ease) it is how you think about your prognosis will either help or hinder. Negative thoughts create cortisone and unneeded stress in the body. When you think positively about your outcome what do you think happens? Endorphins! Serotonin! The happy chemicals. But mediation does not happen overnight. It takes practice.

As a matter of fact, patients that have a positive outlook on their healing, healed better, faster, had fewer complications and happiness was also a direct correlation. Shawn Achor is one of the leading researchers on happiness and how happy people respond.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Happiness-Advantage-Principles-Performance/dp/0307591549

I have both of his books on kindle in print and on audible because they are that good.

According to Achor’s research happier people were also more successful and earned more money. Pretty interesting, When you focus on good things, good things happen. The Law of the Universe/Attraction (aka Karma) still holds true. Your mind is so much more powerful than you think! Some people say it is 100% of a favorable outcome. 100% intention equals 100% of results.

I know that University of Michigan is implementing visualization and meditation in more healing modalities, but until a few years ago we never ever heard of it. Many people would get a diagnosis and hope grew wings and flew out the window because when you are told a diagnosis is terminal what happens to your mind? We have all heard miraculous stories of people being healed and what do they all have in common? The power of the mind. If you have a serious dis-ease you have to be extremely conscious of your thoughts. Tapping and EFT is another huge benefit (which I need to use much more) and you can do it whenever you need to.

http://www.emofree.com/eft-tutorial/tapping-basics/how-to-do-eft.html

I have a wonderful friend locally (she can also do long distance and it is just as effective) that teaches this technique and is a certified hypnotherapist. For more info you can check out Lili’s website.

http://www.lilibetancourt.com

The point here is very simple and as Henry Ford says, “You either can or can’t.” I am the poster child for that. If you think you will heal and get better you will or achieve a goal or doing something new. Seriously the possibilities are endless. Those sneaky, pesky, negative thoughts will keep trying to force their way in. 60,000 negative thoughts a day we generally see and hear. 

Meditation. This takes practice and you can not learn it overnight. Yoga is a wonderful practice and way for you to start with meditation. Also anything that provides you with alone time for your mind. This is why I love to run. When you need extra mind time, here are some great tips.

http://zenhabits.net/meditation-for-beginners-20-practical-tips-for-quieting-the-mind/

One thing I do not want to leave out is spirituality and religion. Connecting to a higher being and a higher purpose can be so beneficial. This is also a very personal choice and journey and at the same time very powerful. There is power in all prayer and it may be the most powerful energy/action one can practice. 

A healthy mind is indicative of everything that you do in your life. I can’t tell you how much minding my mind helped me through my addiction and weight loss. You really have to love yourself and love what is inside, outside and the mirror. You are beautiful!

 

 

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 21 other followers

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 21 other followers