Lets Talk About Sex Baby (and Love and Intimacy)

This is a bit of a different blog article. I bet you might be thinking this will be filled with tips, tricks and maybe some smut? Nah, not my speed but I will definitely try and entertain you. The body, mind and spirit encompasses so many things. But what about sex, sex, sex? Why is there taboo, mystery, shame, and so much negativity around it?  Yes of course it is a personal act, unless you are Tiger Woods or Charile Sheen, and discretion is necessary. So let’s talk about how good it is for you and there is nothing better than making love with your partner. Sex, love and intimacy are essential for a fulfilling life. Whether that be a spouse, a boyfriend, girlfriend, it comes in all sizes and shapes.

Sex is a mammal-istic biology drive. Why am I bringing this topic up? Because when it is done right it feels good and it is good for us but it is the highest plane that you can reach emotionally with another person is intimacy. It is completely different than the actual act of having sex. Sex is only part of intimacy in a marriage or a long term loving relationship and you can also have intimacy in a friendship. Sex is great for self esteem, it releases endorphins and a romp in the sheets burns calories. Now, I am not saying to go and hump every tom, dick and jane. I truly believe to experience the full benefits of sex, you have to love that person that you are having sex with and completely surrender you body and mind, i.e. intimacy!! I am not talking about lust (but sometimes lusting after your partner is not a bad thing, oh baby oh baby!) but love and being truly connected to your partner. We have the the brain to control our urges, and I am not sitting in judgment but your body is your temple! And bottom line your have to love yourself first. (See the last 2 blog posts). Getting from the point of attraction or lust to love and intimacy takes time.

Here is a concept how about intimacy with yourself?

“I have often found in my work that as a person starts to treat themselves with the love and valuing that they have always sought from others – when they become intimate with themselves – they find themselves experiencing intimacy with their spouse. A marriage they thought was over becomes renewed with the love that they had been seeking from someone else.” Dr. Margaret Paul

I think that explains quite a bit and something I have been working on for the last 9 months!!

Relationships take time to build, whether it is with a life partner or a friend. You have to have a trustworthy relationship and that goes both ways. Both people in a relationship have to give. Some days it will be 60-40, some days 50-50 and some days 90-10. It all balances out if you truly have the other person’s interest at heart. Nothing feels better knowing you have made a positive difference for someone other than yourself. Here are some simple tips to make sure you tell your partner everyday;

http://facthat.com/site/post/315/5

Now, I am speaking from a heterosexual point of view because that is me and if you haven’t gathered already a woman. Whether you are straight, gay, bi, transgender, etc sex is wonderful for all. And so are relationships period. Being intimate is also having a few close friends you can really open up to. If you don’t like the fact this blog loves everyone no matter what, don’t read it. 

However, if your sexual partner isn’t doing it right then Houston you have a problem. Men lets face it, a woman is like a complex beautiful sports car and you have to rev her engine. You have to know what you are doing, so ask or get educated on FOREPLAY. It is just as important for her to have a pleasurable orgasm as it is you. There is nothing more powerful than bringing your partner to a climax. And this goes for the ladies too! The art of foreplay I think has been lost and there is so much power in a kiss. A long slow wet kiss that last for 3 days!! I am not going to go into detail here. If you need help go get some books. Take a sex class, but I am coming from the importance of what it can do for you! When you feel comfortable being naked in front of your partner and you love your body and yourself, the union is a blessed thing. I am not talking 50 shades of grey crap either. Focus on your partner and you will get what you want. If you don’t then talk about it. I know that sometimes it is not comfortable to open up about but if you start small and talk about it often, it then becomes comfortable. And it is also about being comfortable with yourself. As we grow older things change and embrace it, love it! Shit droops, so what.

If you want to stay in love you have to work at it. It isn’t like you get married and you think to yourself oh this will be like this forever. It is a job. Everyday! When you want to please your partner, you will do things all of the time for them and not be a lazy schmuck. Stay engaged my friends! 

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-mindful-self-express/201210/love-sex-relationships-and-the-brain

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